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Has anyone ever felt like you are growing somewhat apart from the friends that you’ve had your whole life? I have several friends that I have been extremely close with as far back as kindergarten…and I’m now 33 years old. Some of us are in very different stages in life, and I am starting to feel like I don’t have as much in common with them as I used to. I moved into a city, and they mostly live in the same town that we grew up in. I don’t really get a chance to spend as much time with them as I’d like, but mostly b/c they don’t like to leave that town. I haven’t had to make new friends since I was a freshman in college, and my college friends do not live anywhere near where I live. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to go about making new friends in the new place I live? I find myself wanting to explore the area I live and do things, but I have no one to do them with.

Has anyone else ever been faced with a similar situation?

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You have found a friend who has been so much help and comfort to you. I have such a friend. Tonight I am in the mood to think of that friend and write him a letter like this:

This is to You. It is for You. It is about You. You I have in mind and the good influence you have had on me. It is a happiness and satisfaction to know you, and to bask in the atmosphere of you.

The world is better because of you. You have helped to raise the average.

You and your goodness, you do not appreciate what that means. You are so modest, so loath to think of yourself, so unselfish in this respect that I must tell you of you and about you.

You have a warm heart that throbs for others’ woes and holds sympathy. The great world is cold, selfish, and cares little for others. But you are different; you are a great pillow of rest on which I and others who love you may lay our tired, weary heads, and you wrap your arms of friendship and goodness about us and feel our very heartbeats.

You with your great goodness, your quiet, sympathetic understanding, you soothe our troubled spirits and make us glad of you and glad we have the precious privilege of knowing you.

Even now as I am telling you how I love you, you are trying to wave me aside and stop me, but I am in the mood and I want to express myself. You know that there is a great sin of omission, which is the refraining of expressing gratitude for goodness extended to us.

I want to express my gratitude. I do not want to be guilty of the sin of omission.

So here then for you is this little message, to tell you I appreciate you, I love you, and these words will last after you are gone and after I am gone, to tell those of tomorrow about you and what those of today thought about you.

You life, your goodness, is an everlasting plant that will flourish in many hearts. Your influence will last beyond the calendar of time; it is indestructible. You have a great credit in the universal bank of good deeds, where you have deposited worth-while acts, deeds, kindnesses, cheer, help, friendship, sympathy, courage, gratitude, and all the precious jewels worth while.

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MAYBE there are some women who have never felt lonely for friends, but I doubt it. I believe virtually every woman has moments, or months, or years when she feels her dance card is empty, or at least not completely filled. No one is immune, not even the person who has spent her whole life in the same town and still hangs out with her old high school gang.

Losing companions may happen abruptly. Women yank up roots to relocate for a new job or to trail a spouse. The recently divorced may slip into social isolation.

But often the loss tiptoes up, the unexpected fallout of a hurried life. You race home from the office to ferry your kids to soccer practice and piano, sling dinner on their plates, and wedge in a hurried chat with your husband before you nod off in front of your favorite TV show. Who has time for friends? They’re barely a blip on your screen, until your mother diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and suddenly there’s no one to call.

Or perhaps now that you’ve quit your job, you feel like a stranger in your own town. You’re pushing your toddler on the swings when you realize you don’t know a single mother at the park—though they all seem to know each other. You never really got to know anyone in the neighborhood because your close pals were all at work. “I felt like I had two heads,” lamented one of my neighbors when no one talked to her at the playground.

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The man who said, “Our relations are thrust upon us; thank heaven we may choose our friends” expressed a feeling shared by many, that fate may handicap us by giving us birth in an uncongenial circle, but we may recoup ourselves by chosen friends and enjoy companionship with them which our kin cannot furnish.

Friendship has inspired many of the greatest deeds and many of the noblest poems, and has given us examples of heroic devotion almost passing the love of man for woman. It is not within our purpose to recall these great friendships, but they are familiar and furnish the unfailing stimulus of finer sentiment in youth as the classic examples are recited to each generation. Real friendship is a sacred thing.

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There is nothing more precious than friendship, and this is never more true than when you are a teen. Our close friends become our most trusted confidantes. Without them, life would be very scary and incredibly boring.

Lost of questions are included that will explore the thoughts in your mind and the emotions in your heart. Poems and writings from other teens will show you how important friends are to you. There are Dear Friend pages where you can write letters to those who mean the most to you. And your best friend can ever tell you what she thinks about you in her very own Best Friend Page.

By journaling with your best friend and by yourself, you can see yourself more clearly and learn about being a good friend. We learn through experience and that experience can be transformed into wisdom by writing about it.

When you are filling out your own pages you will encounter some challenging moments. You will be asked to remember some difficult and painful experiences. The importance of working your way through these questions is that each time you are willing to face your pain and examine a painful experience, you can then truly put it behind you. There are also many questions that will help you to understand what kind of friend you are and the nature of the friends you choose. For most people these are questions that will bring back both happy and sad moments. You will be examining yourself and looking at what is important to you. As I have said many times, the better you know yourself, the better off you will be in all areas of your life.

Learning to be a good friend is a process and we are constantly faced with opportunities to practice what we learn along the way. I hope that this journal will provide you with the guidance needed to get to know yourself better and to appreciate this amazing thing called friendship.

Friendship Is . . .

What makes you mad at your best friend?

• When she breaks promises.
• When she ignores me, or doesn’t fill me in on plans.
• When she doesn’t call back, or breaks our plans to go out with her boyfriend.
• When I’m ignored. Actually, that makes me more hurt than mad.

What is the nicest thing you have ever done for a friend?

• Helped someone with their schoolwork.
• I think that the nicest thing a person can do for another person is to really listen to them when they need someone to listen to them.
• In eighth grade I liked this guy who liked my friend, and I told her I didn’t like him anymore so that she would date him. I knew if she knew I did like him, she wouldn’t have gone out with him. I try to do nice things every day.

What do you want to know about your friends?

• The one thing they look for most out of life.
• If they really hurt as much on the inside as I do.

What do you look for in a friend?

• Someone who will be there for me through thick and thin; someone who is honest and caring; someone who I can tell my deepest secrets to; someone who’s not afraid to tell me their deepest secrets; someone who has a good sense of humor; someone who has goals; someone who will just listen to me without judging me.
• Someone who is honest, fun to be with, who likes me for me and can take the good with the bad.
• Someone who is nice and understanding.
• A good listener!
• Someone honest, not completely self-involved and fun.
• Someone who is trustworthy, loyal, kind, fun to be with, funny, not really ditzy, a good listener and someone who likes me for me.

If you could change one thing about friendship, what would it be?

• Make it more open emotionally. If someone has a problem, it can get taken care of more quickly and easily.
• Make it last forever so that you never get hurt.
• Make people be honest, so friendships would not be messed up.
• Have no hurt feelings ever!

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I’ve been thinking lately about friendship and those who are friends.  It seems that there is almost no end to those trying to define “friendship,” so who am I to buck the trend.

There are, of course, different degrees of friendship.  Dan Bennett said, “Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.”  Having been caregiver for a couple of dogs, I can vouch for the truth of that statement.  A dog seems more than ready to have you share in its condition of ‘wetness.’  But to my mind, that is not necessarily the best type of friendship in which to share.

Someone else said that friendship is when you are willing to give up something of yourself to or for your friend.  Again, that may not always work out just as we think it should.  I read of a couple of boys who were eyeing the last piece of pie.  One said to the other, “You know a friend always wants his best friend to have the good stuff.”  Reaching for the pie he said, “Guess what, today I’m going to be your best friend!”  When we have to share whether we want to or not, I’m not sure that’s really an example of friendship.

Did you hear about the two friends who were out walking in the woods? They stumbled upon a mama bear and her two cubs.  She reared up and gave aloud bellow of warning and rage at the two friends.  One of the guys dropped down and began to pray, the other dropped down and tightened his shoelaces.  The guy who was praying said, “What are you doing, you can’t hope to outrun that beat.”  To which the second guy replied, “I don’t have to out run the bear, I only have to out run you!”  Of  course the question is, “I thought you were my friend?”

I guess the point I am trying to make is that true friendship requires something of us if we want to remain friends.  True friendship can result in great comfort and support; however, it is a give and take situation.  Sometimes we are on the receiving end, while other times we are on the giving end of the relationship.  However, there is one friend who is always the giver, always the exhorter, and always the caregiver.  That friend, of course, is Jesus Christ - our Lord and best friend.

The old hymn says, “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!… O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.” Will we allow Jesus to be our friend?  Will we be a friend to him and share in the comfort and support, which he alone can give us?

May our God grant us the understanding of the friendship he offers to us.

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Friendship is a term used to denote cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more beings.  This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships.  In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.  Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism.  Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities.  They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship.  A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors.  Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.  Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

1.  the tendency to desire what is best for the other

2.  sympathy and empathy

3.  honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart

4.  mutual understanding.

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• Focus on other people instead of yourself. Show them that you are interested in them by asking them questions and really listening well to their answers. This makes them feel important, and everyone likes to feel important.
• Smile! People like to be around happy people.
• Become the most positive person you know. (See How To Be Happy)
• Remember people’s names. Use their names often without being weird about it.
• Find out what interests the friend you are talking with and talk about it. Don’t talk about things that don’t interest them.
• Compliment three people a day. If you do that, you will have a reputation of being friendly, and that will help you make more friends.
• Clubs, groups, or cliques are a reality. Ask yourself if you are trying to fit in with a group of people who are mean to outsiders. Do you really want to be one of them?
  Might there be some other student or group of kids in your school who will accept you for who you are?
• Ask your parents for help. If you are doing something that turns other kids off, they might be able to help you change what you are doing.
• Remember the Golden Rule. Treat other kids the way you want to be treated. If you treat them well, they will treat you well in return. If you treat them badly, they will treat you badly.

If you want to have a friend, please send your picture and your resume.  Just register at http://www.friendsblogster.com.

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